You said what needed to be said.
Not too many have done that.
I intend on holding my promise to you
and I shall be happier.
Why?
Well, like it or not,
I do still care for you
and I always will.
You're a very special woman
who demonstrates strength in situations
I wish not to know.
This is why you're better than me.
This is why you're better than everyone I know.
And I just felt like I needed to say this,
but I couldn't say it to your face tonight.
Rest easy.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
you ruined everything in the nicest way
I'd be lying if I said I didn't see this coming. When you mentioned that you were planning on moving, I knew that this was going to follow. I had only hoped that we'd have a last month together before it. Now... I just don't know. Please, bear with me: I need to get this out.
I don't mean anything bad by the title of this either... it means that my plans for a life of solitude have been scrambled (even though that's what I'm going back to) but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I wish we were in different circumstances... then, maybe, we might have had a real future together, but I know this is only wishful thinking.
I always told myself that I would not get into a relationship, for a number of reasons. First off, I'd actually have to spend enough time with the person to know whether or not it was fully possible. HvZ and the nights spent on Killing Floor were fun, and I look to many more on Team Fortress 2. I went in those math tutorials knowing that it was just a nice thing to do from a friend to a friend, but after that first little session, I really began to fall for you. Coming to my graduation? That made me so incredibly happy. And during SGC, I wanted to burst out confessing my feelings for you, but with Zakk there, obviously I couldn't do anything.
Second off, and you know this, I just never saw myself ever being with anyone. I reminded myself that if I ever found myself with someone, this someone was a person that I could see myself very well learning to enjoy every moment with, be it through the painful for both parties and the good.
Our time together was nice: it made me the happiest man alive, and I thank you for that. I thank you for everything you've done for me, and I hope that you enjoyed everything I've done for you, though it's probably less on my account. This brings me to your presents. I'm giving you my Xbox 360 and all the games that I figured you would like. It's brought me many good times, and I hope that it brings you equally fun times as well. I knew that it was going to be your present ever since you showed enthusiasm about getting one at some point, and I tried to do everything I could to dissuade you from getting one so that I would be able to provide it.
This is the last action and time you'll probably hear from the compassionate side of me. Again, I want to remain friends as well as you do. SGC next year will be fun, and I'll always enjoy playing online with you. I also want to tell you that should you ever find yourself "stabilized" (as you put it) and want to give this another shot, I will keep an open mind. I know this is a delusional thought, but I've always made it my goal to be as honest as possible with you. Just... go lead a good life. It's all that you can do.
I don't mean anything bad by the title of this either... it means that my plans for a life of solitude have been scrambled (even though that's what I'm going back to) but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I wish we were in different circumstances... then, maybe, we might have had a real future together, but I know this is only wishful thinking.
I always told myself that I would not get into a relationship, for a number of reasons. First off, I'd actually have to spend enough time with the person to know whether or not it was fully possible. HvZ and the nights spent on Killing Floor were fun, and I look to many more on Team Fortress 2. I went in those math tutorials knowing that it was just a nice thing to do from a friend to a friend, but after that first little session, I really began to fall for you. Coming to my graduation? That made me so incredibly happy. And during SGC, I wanted to burst out confessing my feelings for you, but with Zakk there, obviously I couldn't do anything.
Second off, and you know this, I just never saw myself ever being with anyone. I reminded myself that if I ever found myself with someone, this someone was a person that I could see myself very well learning to enjoy every moment with, be it through the painful for both parties and the good.
Our time together was nice: it made me the happiest man alive, and I thank you for that. I thank you for everything you've done for me, and I hope that you enjoyed everything I've done for you, though it's probably less on my account. This brings me to your presents. I'm giving you my Xbox 360 and all the games that I figured you would like. It's brought me many good times, and I hope that it brings you equally fun times as well. I knew that it was going to be your present ever since you showed enthusiasm about getting one at some point, and I tried to do everything I could to dissuade you from getting one so that I would be able to provide it.
This is the last action and time you'll probably hear from the compassionate side of me. Again, I want to remain friends as well as you do. SGC next year will be fun, and I'll always enjoy playing online with you. I also want to tell you that should you ever find yourself "stabilized" (as you put it) and want to give this another shot, I will keep an open mind. I know this is a delusional thought, but I've always made it my goal to be as honest as possible with you. Just... go lead a good life. It's all that you can do.
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